Frustrated Lizabeth

    One day, the Great and Wise Lizabeth, the greatest and wisest of all lizards named Lizabeth, was frustrated.  Nothing was going the way she wanted.  Rianne was far away, visiting Someone-or-other, so Lizabeth couldn’t even complain to her.  In fact, that was part of the problem: Lizabeth was home all alone.
    Lizabeth sat on her couch in front of the TV, channel surfing.  She sat in her den, surfing the internet.  She went down to her library and pretended to surf on the surf-simulator she had installed there some years ago but never used.  Finally, she went down to her indoor pool and turned on the wave machine, so she could really surf on the fake waves.  But even this wasn’t enough to hold her attention long, with the sad result that she fell off the surf board and would have drowned if her pet dolphin, Lassie, hadn’t rescued her.
    Coughing and sputtering, she dragged herself out of the pool and shook herself off.  What could she do now to amuse herself? (Write your suggestion here: ______________________.)  She decided to go visit a friend’s house.
    Her friend, Onson, had a house only 2000 miles away.  This was no difficulty for her to travel, because she was a telekinetic and could teleport herself anywhere she wanted.  So she teleported to Onson’s house, where many hundreds of people were gathered.  Surely this would amuse her, and distract her from her frustrations.
    But no.  It was, in fact, quite amusing, because lots of people were playing video games and Lizabeth loves video games.  But somehow it wasn’t satisfying, and it only emphasized how boring her own home was.
    Finally, Lizabeth decided that she would go home.  Just as she was about to teleport away, she saw the most adorable lizard ever.  She went over and began petting him.  She looked around.  No one seemed to want this lizard, so she would take him home as a pet.  She would teach him tricks, like how to fetch things from hard-to-reach places and carry things for her.  And he would sleep in her bed at night and keep her warm.
    So she held on to him and teleported them to her home.  “This is your new home!” she told him proudly.  He made lizard noises in response.  “I’ll have to give you a name, huh?  Hmm… How about <I need a name>”
    He made happy lizard noises, then began wandering around.  In the middle of the living room, he peed on the carpet.  “You’ll have to be house trained,” she sighed.  “Male lizards are so much trouble.”  She hugged him.  “But they’re so adorable!”
    So she trained her new pet to do all the things she wanted, including cooking and cleaning.  And all of Lizabeth’s frustration went away.

Moral: Linux is a good OS, if you can force it to install.